Dog Tumblr Posts
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THIS VIDEO WAS SO SATISFYING
This gives me life
How music changed from 2000-2013.
i feel so fucking old right now…
Anyone else notice how more songs were in a minor key at the beginning of the video?
the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.
it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
What might be even more strange to consider is that Dril is legitimately making tweets about his life and somewhere out in the world is a city that cages this alien of a man and thinks nothing of it.
ha im a piece of trash
As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?
you smooth fucker
I am SICK and TIRED of people objecting to seeing women using their breasts for what they are actually for. BREASTFEEDING IS NOT VULGAR OR OBSCENE.
I support breastfeeding all the way, even if it is in public.
And the award winning one:
THIS. THIS. THIS/
IM FUCKIN CRYING
I have just trademarked poop. You wanna take one? I’ll see you in court motherfucker
ill bring the basketball
Like hell u are
Why is this not taught universally.
straight people: sexuality shouldn’t matter. who cares who’s straight and who isn’t? why do you want more queer characters? it shouldn’t matter. sexuality doesn’t matter. everyone should be straight cause it shouldn’t matter.